I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize