Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
