happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
