So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
