Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How does one acquire holy water?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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