She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
