The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize