I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
