He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
