I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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