just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
