Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
