so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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