Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
