I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
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