you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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