btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
