nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
