it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
