There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize