So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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