I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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