i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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