Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
