omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
my poor anus
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
