so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize