his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
