Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
