We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
