Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
