I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
