There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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