I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he shaved USA in his pubs
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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