she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
