I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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