If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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