fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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