I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
