I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
