no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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