I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
