Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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