I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
What drink are we having for lunch?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
