WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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