Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
