i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
