I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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