The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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