You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
