Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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