he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
