I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
