every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
