he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Shame - the story of my life.
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