We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
