I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
