hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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