too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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