More tranny stories later!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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