Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize