distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
