just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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