Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
