Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize